I'm having pigeon issues.

[Mr. Natural]

I don't think religious shrines or voodoo will work on these godless pigeons. Too bad they don't make rubber snakes with pigeon shaped bulges in their bodies.

[moderndiyer]

I bought 7 rubber snakes from a party supply store last week and placed them on the roof. I've seen one pigeon on the peak of the garage since I placed them and I only saw him/her once.
Normally I would have at between 5 and 10 waddling around on the roof.

I'm thrilled! Thank you x's a million.

I would like to pass on the tip to the neighbors but I'm afraid the pigeons would think "yeah, right everyone around here has snakes?!"

[matthew]

Update from the King Homestead:

There are about a dozen snakes on our roof now and a few hanging from some of the overhead wire (classy, huh?) and there are <strong>no</strong> pigeons in our yard anymore.

The best part is the morning doves and little finchy birds are not afraid of the snakes. It's amazing! Who would have thunk it would work out so well?

[PixelPixie]

I think this is my favorite home improvement memory so far:

Standing out in the yard in the middle of the night holding a rubber snake by the head, slinging it back and forth with Matthew trying to hook the sucker over our highest wire which is about 18 feet or so. It took us a lot of attempts but we laughed our asses off the whole time and finally got it to curl its tail around and stick!

We knew that we hadn't gotten the entire pigeon problem licked because there was one persistent set of green and purple splat-plops beneath the one and only wire we hadn't snaked yet. Thus far, that area of the patio is now pigeon and splat-free.

No way a cat could do THAT degree of long-distance scaring.

And yes, is is VERY classy.

I particularly like the one Matthew poised diagonally on top of our laundry room with a rearing, hissing head. Scares you right out of your flip-flops.

[matthew]

You mean this one?



bad pic. phonecam+low light=crappy image

[PixelPixie]

Dude, that makes it look even scarier. Like the Loch Ness Monster.

[Funktional Design]

yeah, that's right out of a B rated low budget flick. Matthew, maybe you haven't really explored your true calling yet.

[matthew]

Dammit we just caught a bird standing on top of one of our snakes on the wire. Then another bird tried to land on top of her (I am assuming gender here) and have sex with her. On top of my snake!

What is this world coming to? I cannot believe we have a dirty whore of a bird hanging out in my backyard having sex with dirty male pigeons on top of my rubber snakes. Here's a pic of the tramp. At least she moved a couple inches away from the snake.

[PixelPixie]

She must have a rubber fetish, not to mention a deathwish.

Dirty bird.

[modernlover]

Now that I think about it, that looks like a dead snake hanging there like that. Have the pigeons been hanging out anywhere near the snakes that are prone?

[Mr. Natural]

Christ your backyard looks dangerous.

"Welcome -- to Jurassic Park"

DA na na NAH NUH

DA na na NAH NUH

[Haverphile]

The best part is the morning doves and little finchy birds are not afraid of the snakes. It's amazing! Who would have thunk it would work out so well?

Too bad to hear about the mourning doves not fearing the synthetic snakes.

Despite my great appreciation of wildlife, the mourning doves frequent pooping is a bummer.

In keeping with the list theme, here is a list of the things they have shat upon so far this year:

1. Driveway
2. Patio
3. Roof
4. Hose reel
5. Walkway
6. Car
7. Ivy
8. Pond edge
9. Fence
10. My hopes and dreams

guess i'll be buying some Magic Eraser...

[j-megirl]

I went to my parents house for mums day and realized they had a very real-looking gun sitting on the island bar, near the sliding
doors. I picked it up, tried it on, pretending I was Farrah Faucet, and
asked "is this a real barretta(sp?)?" My mom uttered "yeees", just as my stepdad
chimed in from the stairs, "Bebe's for the birds who s---t on the deck".
"s--t or sit on the deck?" as I took aim, I asked " have you used it?".
In his most disappointed tone (I know so well) he replied, " no! as soon as I bought it, the word got out, and we havent had to clean the
deck since, damn it".
I dont know, maybe its worth a try? Threaten the birds with WMD and
they'll go Osama -where else?

[Mr. Natural]

With Minovsky Particle density so concentrated, long range balisitc weaponry becomes obsolete. So close range particle beam weaponry was developed, as well as short range high-caliber projectiles, IE your machine cannons, vulcan cannons, et cetera. However, particle beam cannons were bulky, complicated devices restricted only to carrier and warship class space cruisers. Traditionally, The Principality of Zeon's new Mobile Suit weapons used limited ammuniton machine cannons and heated-metal melee weapons. What the Earth Federation has succeeded in doing is scaling down the inner workings of a particle beam cannon to be used by their prototype RX-78-2 Gundam mobile suit as a handheld accessory weapon. This condensed particle beam, however, remains equally powerful to that of a small battle cruiser's standard compliment. Mega particle cannons, however, remain restricted to high-powered large cruisers. In addition to a portable, small scaled particle beam cannon, the RX-78-2 features beam saber melee weapons, modulated to stand up against even the most dense of MS-06 Zaku II shields. With it's onboard vulcan cannons and optional warhead bazooka, the RX-78-2 Gundam should prove to be an immensely powerful weapon in the fight against the Pigeon Armada.

[JC]

Matthew-
The only viable solution seems to be to dangle a real snake in place of the fake one-
That way when the dirty little exhibitionists come back for round two- the last thing they will see is you laughing histerically from the window- maybe you could give them a sweet twist of irony- and shoot each of them the "bird" (middle finger) as they leave this world.